In The Dark
by Leareth

First published August 2005

Subaru woke from nightmare and found himself blind.

For a long minute he lay there, heaving for breath as he stared into the near-complete darkness that seemed to press physically down upon him. After a moment's panic he realised why he couldn't see anything and what it was atop him: it was the middle of the night and he was in bed, which, given that it was winter, was covered in a thick quilt. The quilt insulated Subaru's body from the cold air perhaps a little too effectively as the dream had left him sweating in his pajamas. He could not, however, lift the quilt to release some of that trapped heat for there was someone beside him, sleeping soundly if the quiet breathing to his right was any indication. It looked like he would have to live with the discomfort.

Slowly, trying to make as little movement as possible, Subaru turned his head to look sideways. It was almost impossible to see anything, but he thought he could make out the rise in the quilt that was Seishirou. From the height of that shape it would seem that Seishirou was lying on his side, back towards Subaru. Certainly he appeared asleep. That being established Subaru turned his head back to stare upwards again wondering when or if sleep would return to him this night. Either way he didn't feel particularly inclined to welcome it – for him, interrupted dreams tended to pick up exactly where they had left off as if they had been lurking just behind his eyelids waiting to leap out. Usually they were some painful but familiar blend of memory and fantasy, however every so often he would have dreams that were too vividly unreal for him to grasp anything from other than the smallness of his own existence, and in some ways these disturbed him more than dreams of Seishirou and Hokuto. Tonight's dream had been one of those; he had been standing in an icy wasteland under a terrifyingly open sky. It had been a night sky, he remembered, filled with a dazzling array of stars that he could never see in the city as if someone had spilt a wealth of crushed crystal across a black marble floor, and he had been searching for something beneath it only his feet had frozen to the ground so that when he lifted his feet the skin was ripped from their soles. Agonised with pain he had walked trailing blood leaving gobbets of flesh behind with each step since every time he touched the ice more of him became frozen to it …

Subaru shivered, unconsciously rubbing his feet against each other beneath the quilt to make sure they were still whole. He didn't have those kinds of dreams often, but when he did he usually made himself stay awake for the rest of the night. Briefly he toyed with the idea of getting up and going into the kitchen for a drink and maybe finding something to read … the idea was discarded, as going to the kitchen would require getting out of bed and walking over a cold floor in bare feet. Overly hot as it was beneath the quilt, heat was preferable than any reminder of cold at the moment, and here at least there was the reassurance of another person's presence, asleep though that person might be, somewhere beside him in the dark.

Somewhere.

Subaru hesitated for a moment. Then, slowly, he rolled onto his side and began to shift over the small expanse of mattress towards Seishirou. It was impossible to see distance in the dark, so Subaru had to judge by touch, sending his fingers exploring before him sliding between quilt and mattress with a slight hiss. The empty stretch between them was comparatively cooler, and he inched into this negative space knowing he had reached the half-way point when his head slipped into the gap between the two pillows. Subaru paused there briefly, letting some of the excess heat drain away, before lifting his head and continuing even more cautiously – this was the pillow Seishirou slept on, and any abrupt change in its contour could disturb Seishirou's rest … the mattress beneath his scouting fingers was growing warmer and Subaru knew he was getting close when the quilt began to rise above his fingers like the edge of a tent. Unexpectedly his fingers touched bare flesh and Subaru immediately jerked his hand back. Seconds passed without response; relieved, Subaru brought the rest of his body closer, not quite touching but enough to sense the warmth from Seishirou and smell his scent. Once settled Subaru relaxed, curling on his right side and letting his head sink into the pillow where he could feel the curve of it sloping towards his companion, and the vague sense of someone there in the dark. This was where he wanted to be, here beside this person who despite all he had done was someone who was necessary to his life. He listened to Seishirou breathe, barely audible even at this distance, and marvelled at where he was, how close he was allowed to be despite the fact that Seishirou was asleep and vulnerable—

Seishirou rolled over to face him.

Instinctively Subaru froze. It was an unconscious reaction, the natural response of a prey suddenly coming face to face with a hunter, and even though intellectually Subaru knew that there really wasn't any cause for alarm he still couldn't help it. He hardly dared to breathe – was Seishirou merely moving in his sleep, or was he actually awake? It was impossible to tell for sure, but then Subaru felt a slight chill, as if tiny frost crystals were forming over the skin of his face, and somehow knew that yes, Seishirou was awake, and trying to look at him in the dark. His heart beat faster – caught, it drummed out, caught – and he swallowed thickly, trying to wet his suddenly dry throat as the heat around him increased with his blush. Unexpectedly there was a rustle of cloth and before Subaru could say anything he felt a cool hand touching his face. The contact made Subaru flinch briefly before he recollected himself to stay still as Seishirou's fingers began to move and trace his skin, his nose, the curve of his cheek, moving upwards to gently stroke his hair. No words were spoken but the message was clear, communicating reassurance. Relieved, Subaru sank into the pillow and moved ever so slightly closer to the dark shape that was Seishirou. The hand in his hair began to move again, over his ear and following his chin … Subaru let his eyes close, making the darkness that much more complete and simply enjoyed being touched, the quiet sensual pleasure of it, imagining Seishirou's smile. His lips parted as Seishirou's fingers brushed over them and in response the fingers shifted to run along the edges of his mouth: the left hand corner, climbing upwards, the little dip at the top then down, following the curve underneath to return to where they started before moving across. They coaxed Subaru's lips open and he let them, feeling one finger slide inside to run over his teeth whilst the remainder rested on his chin. Experimentally he stroked the tip of the finger with his tongue, a little nervous of how it would be taken. He need not have worried; Seishirou chuckled softly, and Subaru gave a shy smile, knowing it would be felt.

The world narrowed. Slowly, insistently, the finger was pushed further into Subaru's mouth, sliding wetly over his tongue in curious exploration. Emboldened Subaru began to suck, massaging Seishirou's finger with his tongue as if he were savouring a particularly sweet piece of toffee he wanted to last. The rest of the fingers on his chin subtly tensed but otherwise didn't move, and Subaru leaned into them, taking in more of intruding digit and wrapping his tongue around it as best he could without choking. The taste – not blood, oh no, Seishirou washed his hands carefully – made him think of a fine tea, and like tea it was making him warm, spreading through his veins to pool in his gut and that place between his legs. On impulse he reached up, fumbling through the quilt until he managed to grasp Seishirou's wrist and tugged Seishirou's fingers away and out of his mouth to kiss the man's palm, once, twice, over and over again, lips and tongue speaking love and need in silence. As he did so the hand began to push, gently but insistently, tilting him to lie on his back. Subaru allowed this, heart beating faster. The quilt billowed releasing some of the built-up heat and letting in some cooler air, and Subaru felt Seishirou move over, a leg moving across to straddle him, an arm settling into the pillow beside his head … the hand on his lips moved down to his chin and Subaru heard a low exhale of breath just above him. Impatient, he stretched up to meet Seishirou's lips only to end up kissing what felt like his lover's nose in the dark. Seishirou chuckled and Subaru laughed also, soft as leaves blowing in an evening wind. The hand on his chin resumed its path, down over his neck to settle at the base of his throat, and once there pushed Subaru to lie against the pillows. Subaru arched his head back, imagining the look in Seishirou's eyes, and waited for what he knew was next.

The kiss, when it came, was off-target, landing on the corner of his lips, but once this initial contact was established it was easy to engage a proper kiss, the kind that left Subaru dizzy and out of breath. Subaru liked kisses he could immerse himself in and he gave himself over to this one, opening and melting into it, all the while revelling in how Seishirou's weight pushed him down into the mattress shelter and domination both. Already he was hard, and he reached up to wrap his arms around Seishirou's back – Seishirou slept shirtless, good – pulling the man to lay against him and tangling fingers in his hair. Seishirou made a pleased sound, deepening the kiss as Subaru fiercely responded, sliding one hand down Seishirou's spine until he hit cloth. He eased his fingers beneath the waistband of Seishirou's pants and pushed them away, something that was difficult given the confines of the quilt and the distracting attention his own clothes were getting from Seishirou. He felt the buttons of his pajama top come undone, one by one, the cloth parting as Seishirou's fingers ran over his ribs and played with his nipples, touches strong and warm. The pants were refusing to come off and Subaru made a small, exasperated sound for Seishirou to help. Seishirou seemed only too happy to do so, and with a bit of fumbling and kicking the item of clothing was shoved away to be disappear somewhere into the heavy darkness of the quilt. Hard arousal pressed into him and Subaru arched, welcoming and willing as Seishirou took advantage of his position to tug Subaru's clothes off. There was a slight struggle as the pants got tangled in Subaru's legs, a blind jumble of heat, breath, quilt and non-existent space, until finally Subaru managed to catch some cloth between his toes to pull the pants away and free himself. Seishirou seemed to be everywhere, kissing his face and neck, skin rubbing against skin … he felt a hand reach down, grasping him possessively, and Subaru gave a breathless gasp as the tight heat within him intensified, stoked by Seishirou's ruthlessly slow caresses. He strained upwards, trying to press himself against Seishirou and briefly managing it before he was pinned down once more, helpless and unsatisfied. Subaru moaned.

The quilt lifted. Impatiently Subaru waited, shivering as a blast of cold air struck him almost painfully raising goose-bumps along his aching skin. There was a creak of bedsprings and Subaru felt the contour of the pillow shift as a weight he presumed to be Seishirou's hand pressed down into it. A ripple in the quilt as Seishirou stretched over him, then Subaru heard the sound of wood scraping against wood somewhere off-side (bedside table drawer, his mind identified) and objects shuffling together. After what seemed like hours Seishirou found what he was looking for and lowered himself onto Subaru again, the quilt settling to enclose them once more. A knee was pressed against his thighs, and Subaru adjusted his position to cradle Seishirou between his legs. Dimly he wondered just how they were going to do this when blind in the dark, but then he heard a faint tap of a plastic flip-lid, and his heart began to beat faster in anticipation.

Cool, slick fingers brushed the inside of his thigh. Subaru jolted, more from the unexpectedness than the touch itself, then immediately relaxed, closing his eyes and focusing on that contact. He shifted his hips a little, lifting them and loosely hooking his legs around Seishirou's waist as he felt the man's fingers slide around and under searching for that opening … he felt Seishirou find it, ease questing fingers inside him, and whimpered in frustration. More of that, yes, don't play or tease … a rich shudder ran through Subaru as Seishirou pressed in deeper, brushing that most sensitive spot that sent need and desire soaring to a higher pitch – he choked thickly as Seishirou's fingers massaged inside of him, shallow breaths tumbling over each other to get out and hands fisting into the quilt. Already he was moving; the muscles of his lower body clenching as he tried to rub impatiently against Seishirou, to get some friction against his sex, more heat, more pressure to reach that burning peak—

Without warning Seishirou pulled away, leaving Subaru empty and helpless. The sudden abandonment was impossibly sharp bordering on physical pain, and Subaru moaned, taut and trembling against the mattress. Somehow past the thudding of his pulse he heard a soft chuckle, the audible version of a smile, and Subaru told himself to calm down and be patient which was far easier said than done. He sensed the mattress shift beneath him, the change in air temperature as the quilt was pushed away … lying where he was, half-entwined with Seishirou and hopelessly aroused, Subaru wished that whatever Seishirou was doing he'd hurry up. Out of the darkness he felt a strong hand press against his chest; the moment contact was made the hand slid up to close around his shoulder before feelings its way down his arm to his hand. Willingly Subaru let Seishirou take his hand by the wrist, lifting it up – he heard a small hiss of air then something cool and thickly fluid on his palm. It gave Subaru something to centre on in the haze of his lust, and he sat up a little, holding his hand steady as he sensed Seishirou drop something off the side of the bed still keeping hold of Subaru's wrist. Once that was done, Seishirou tugged Subaru's hand insistently down, guiding him in the warm dark between their bodies … Subaru drew in a sharp breath, pulse thundering in his ears. Intimate as he and Seishirou were by now, this was something different. His hand closed around warm flesh.

The darkness thickened. Trying to breathe normally Subaru began to stroke Seishirou, hesitant and gentle as he spread out the lubricant. He felt Seishirou's hand around his wrist tighten, the man's breathing growing harsher, but other than this the furtherance of Seishirou's arousal was quiet. For a moment Subaru wished for light so that he could see what expression his lover was wearing, whether it was anything he was familiar with or something completely new, but the room remained black and Subaru was forced to use the poor substitute of his imagination. Seishirou, dark hair damp with sweat, lips slightly parted and half-closed eyes focused inward … his own breathing was growing fitful and Subaru sat up straighter, other arm fumbling to circle around Seishirou's shoulder as his caresses grew bolder, stronger, his own need for a moment unimportant – was that his name he heard whispered in his ear, heavy with desire? – but then Seishirou's hand clenched down on his wrist, pulling him away, and suddenly Subaru found himself pushed onto his back again. Strong hands grasped either side of his hips, lifting him upwards, feeling for that place once more making Subaru scrambled to prepare himself, and then Seishirou thrust into him. Shock and pleasure took Subaru like a wave, rocking him outwards to the extremities of his limbs and he cried out, reaching up desperately to wrap his arms around Seishirou. A short, agonising pause as Seishirou steadied them, then Seishirou began to push slowly into Subaru. Subaru closed his eyes and breathed deeply, managing the initial pain until it paled away to nothing in the wake of the ecstasy that flooded within him.

They began to move together, Seishirou setting the rhythm as he always did gradually gaining speed. Subaru welcomed it, rode it as he gave himself up completely, revelling in their joining … he shuddered as Seishirou drove deeper into him to strike that innermost place, whimpering as the pressure in his body was raised intolerably high. Each thrust sent a roll of intense pleasure through his body, shaking him to the core, and Subaru dug his fingers into Seishirou's shoulder as the pleasure took him. His world had constricted; there was nothing in the dark and heat but Seishirou, Seishirou around him, holding him, inside him … dimly Subaru felt through the darkness and clasped his hands on either side of Seishirou's head. He pulled his lover downwards until their foreheads touched and he could feel his breath on his face, and there Subaru held him, his own low, almost broken moans spilling into the tiny space between them urging Seishirou to greater passion. Tension, fever-hot and white, was building up inside him to an excruciating degree, more than he could stand; it burned as fierce as an electric shock, racing through his nerves and up his spine to magnify in his head where it shattered in a glorious demise making him cry out in exultation—

—he was sinking downwards as if through warm water; dimly, Subaru could feel Seishirou rocking against him towards his own release. As focus returned past the aftershocks of pleasure echoing through his body Subaru realised he was still holding onto Seishirou and he tightened his embrace, letting the man's movement drive them both, loving the feel of his lover breathing against him. He turned his head slightly, pressing kisses against Seishirou's jaw and tangling fingers in the man's hair as the thrusts inside his body grew faster, more forceful and strong – then abruptly stopped. In his arms Seishirou froze, every muscle tensed, and Subaru closed his eyes as warmth spread through his flesh, slow as a sunset, letting it carry him until finally there was nothing, only the two of them together in the dark.

Seishirou expelled a breath, relaxing against Subaru before easing away – with some reluctance, Subaru let him go. Beneath him mattress shifted as with a pleased sound Seishirou stretched out on the bed. The moment he was settled Subaru curled up beside him, resting his head on Seishirou's chest as the man pulled the quilt back over them. Now that the adrenalin was fading Subaru could feel some soreness making itself known, but it was easily dismissed in favour of the hazy pleasure that lingered throughout his body, and when Seishirou wrapped an arm around his back to hold him he forgot about it entirely. Subaru sighed in contentment. "Did I wake you up?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Oh." Subaru nestled closer, draping an arm around Seishirou's waist. "I'm sorry."

"Hmph." The hand pressed against the small of his back reached up to caress his neck. "You can make it up to me in the morning."

"What, didn't I already do that?"

"You can make breakfast." There was an almost-audible smirk in the response, but before Subaru could protest he felt a kiss against his brow. "Go back to sleep, Subaru-kun."

With a rueful smile Subaru settled down to obey. Against his body Seishirou was warm, comfortingly real, but even without that reassurance Subaru was probably too worn out to dream anymore tonight. He'd have to think of something sweet to make for breakfast in the morning, though …

Seishirou's touch danced through his hair. Smiling, Subaru closed his eyes, satisfied and warm, and let the heartbeat beneath his ear lull him to sleep.

 

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